she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
