No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You don't make any sense
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