Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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