Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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