every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize