when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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