so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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