im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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