youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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