my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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