Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
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Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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