chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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