the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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