He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
