Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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