i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
