Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
