just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize