Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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