oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
