my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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