That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
