How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dignity is for republicans.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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