Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
