Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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