someone get that fucking seahorse.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize