It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
