i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
