Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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