a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
