Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
