Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
