youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
