That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize