You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I currently don't understand fingers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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