we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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