i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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