I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
