What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
