I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ttyl tear gas
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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