The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
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i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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