talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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