You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
