do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
