i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
