I must be too annoying 4 u.
are you so shy because you have an std?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
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I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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