Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
