His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
