Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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