were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
