Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
