question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
