I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
