ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize