put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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