I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The feeling are messing with the penis
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you never un-have a 4some
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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