I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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