PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
