you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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