Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
