? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
